Sunday, April 1, 2012

Might Get to Try My Own Advice After All

I usually couch my news in flowery prose for a paragraph or two before I spill it, but I just don't have the heart today.

Toots has requested I leave the house, and has told me that she has engaged a lawyer and wants a divorce.

She's given me 24 hours to pack my things and go.  There's a couple of hotels around here that are pretty cheap and that have Internet access; I'll look for an apartment later in the week.

I'm stunned.  She was so calm about it.  She said that she'd been a fool to keep the marriage together all this time, that she should have done this a long tome ago.

When she gave me the news, the blood rushed to me ears and I could hardly hear her.  That kind of news is just staggering, you know?  For a minute I didn't know who I was or even what day it was. I was just completely shocked by her actions.  Even now I don't know if I'm angry or sad or even relieved.

Well, I supppose I should get packing.  I'll try and update later today.

20 comments:

  1. im not sure how the laws work, but what legal right does she have to force u to leave the house any more than u could force her to?

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  2. Haha. Happy April Fools Day to you too!

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  3. Gary - I haven't known you very long, so I don't know your penchant, or lack thereof, for jokes on April Fool's Day. So, I don't know if this is real or a joke. If a joke - bah! I hate April Fool's jokes. If real - shit! Bummer. Sorry for your troubles.

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  4. Sorry to hear the news. I hope you are okay. I'll text you.

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  5. Gary! That's not even funny ! April Fools sucks!

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  6. Uh ... the date just dawned on me ...

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  7. 1. "She'd been a FOOL to keep the marriage together all this time..."

    2. "I didn't know who I was or even WHAT DAY IT WAS..."

    Notice the girls caught it, and the guys didn't? Josie I knew would get it...for her April 1 is like Christmas. But Carmel and Cranky, congrats!

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  8. Having recently dealt with family traumas such as heart attacks, cancer, and loss of jobs, I find that I take any comments people make about bad things happening pretty seriously. That being said, there is still time for Tootsie to kick your moldy arse out in the street.

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    1. Dude, not for nothing, but my dad's birthday is tomorrow, April 2nd, and that's no joke. You either laugh or you cry and I'll not apologize for taking the former course for once.

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    2. And how on earth could you know my ass was moldy?

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  9. I wanted to post something the moment I saw it - but I don't like to be the guy who says "April Fools" and then have everyone else by default get the "joke."

    However, the cats out of the bag (and the bag sadly wasn't in the river) so I want to say that I enjoyed it.
    This was my 2nd favorite one I saw so far (Google's was 1st).

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    1. How can I compete with THAT? I'm honored to place. Thanks Grr!

      And don't think I didn't notice the cat in the river comment. We're fighting again.

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    2. lol :)

      I started up a blog collection of my favorite ones this year - I've added you to the list!

      I'll be looking forward to settle our Beef when you guest post on my blog :)

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    3. Brother Grrouch, say the word - or, more accurately, the letter - and I'm there.

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    4. You got the Letter "U"

      so, that's near the end of the alphabet and gives you time to think, plot and plan.

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    5. done and done. Email me at gpjacobs at cox dot net and let me know when you need it, as well as anything off-limits - because I have a great Uncest story and a decent Uss-raping one.

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  10. ha! Good one. I have not read the blog and was tipped off so I am not sure if it would have fooled me or not. Good job though!

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    1. Who was the dirty rat bastard (or tiny Dago whore) who tipped you off? I'll moidalize the bum!

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