Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Fat Jew, Skinny Jew, and Lefty Elvis...Jew

Well, I got my scanner working again, except there's all kinds of gross shit in between the glass on the top of the scanner and the scanner itself - so it looks like the pictures have been used to do lines on top of.  So, sorry about that, but no lines were done on photographs, trust me.

So this one is a good indicator of me as fat boy Gary. This was taken maybe 1995 or so, outside the Boston Garden - it was really cold and REALLY windy.  Plus I was fat:

This one here was taken Thanksgiving 1998. I had lost perhaps sixty pounds at this point. My parents and my brother came to Cleveland to celebrate and eat a lot of turkey.  As always, my brother gave my Dad rabbit ears:

Love this pic

This one I like to call "Lefty Elvis."  I don't know exactly when it was taken, but I got that guitar in my hand Christmas 1997, so it had to be after that:


And, ladies and gentlemen, the jewel of the album, the most super-secret photo ever:  Actual physical proof that Tootsie exists.  This was taken at our friends Connie and Chuckie's wedding in Akron, OH.  We won the prize for the furthest away someone came to the wedding, at 530 miles.  And because it's a super-secret photo, it's black-and-white:


I like this shot; it really gives the impression that Tootsie likes me. And that's important.

So that's the trip through the Crafty Southpaw's photo album.  More to come in the future, unless I can't get my scanner cleaned up; all that schmutz is really distracting.

28 comments:

  1. Re: pic #2....friggin...skinny me, skinny you...Dad. I don't know whether to hug you or punch you for posting that.

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    Replies
    1. No punchies...besides, that's imo a great pic; why would you want to punch me because of it?

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    2. I just assume you miss skinny you.
      I know I miss skinny me.
      And in the middle...

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    3. Yeah man. I get you. But it was a good week, good memories, and you were giving him Rabbit Ears, for the love of Benji...

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  2. So Tootsie DOES exist in more than your mind ... I think ... lol.

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    1. @Light, you're right, she does - and let me also just say that you wouldn't be the first person to express doubt that she really did exist until shown proof!

      Anyone else think she kinda looks like Governor Palin in this shot?

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  3. Nice pics. Since (I assume) Gary is your real name, is Tootsie Tootsie's real name or is it a nickname or is i totally a pseudonym.

    You know I hate blogs that use pseudonyms.

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    Replies
    1. You know I hate blogs that use pseudonyms...

      HA! Do you indeed, "Rob," if that is your real name? Well, be that as it may, my name is indeed Gary but Toots is not Toots's given name. It is, though, my standard term of endearment for her, if that counts for anything.

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    2. Yeah, that makes sense about Tootsie. And yes, believe it or not, Rob is actually my real name, well Robert to be precise. I guess it is weird that the only person on my blog with a real name is me.

      But I am seriously considering my last name to "Vegaspoker".

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  4. Ha! When I met cranky she asked me if "Josie" was my real name. (!)

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    Replies
    1. What'd you tell her, Frank?

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    2. She told me it was and looked surprised that I'd asked. I was employed when I started my blog and wanted as little connection to the real me as possible. Took a while before I added that head shot to my profile.

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    3. LOL at first I thought she meant was the "very" my real name. I mean if I were to PICK a name for myself, do you think I'd pick Josie? That's someones grandmother's name.

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  5. Gary - the psuedonymous Cranky says: "nice snaps." I love pics from the past, even if I don't know the folks. Good to get a pic of Tootsie, though a photo doesn't really prove she exists. You could have just paid some woman to sit for that snap. :-)

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    1. Once again, you've noodled out my nefarious plan. Not only did I pay her to sit for that picture, I paid her to live with me for 20 years this coming August, to put up with my particular brand of bullshit and cook me yummy meals...

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  6. Replies
    1. Lightning, you will pay for reminding her of that phrase, coming as it does on the eve of Poker Night...

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  7. Tootsie does indeed exist and she's a hoot! Although she used to read a magazine as she played poker with us, like we were boring the pants off of her, but really, that was prolly her reaction to Gary!

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  8. At the risk of sounding gay you do not look really fat in any of the pictures.. sure, you look overweight... but you also have a BIG frame... so even if you get skinnier your going to have a sort of hefty look... you talk as if your like the blob from X-Men... (I do too lol).

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    1. Waffles, thanks. That's awfully complimentary given that I threatened to beat you up after school in a previous post. You're obviously a bigger man than me.

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    2. Gary, before you uploaded it, did you ask Tootsie, "Honey, does this post make me look fat?"

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    3. Rob, no. The only thing that makes me look fat is the 4,000 calorie dinners I've had every day for the last three years...

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  9. It sounds like Waffles has a man crush on you ...

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  10. Awwww. very nice. I enjoyed those. Tell Tootsie I said Hello.

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  11. Well hey there Cricket! How we doin, dollface?

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