Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Cravings are Killing Me

As regular readers of my little chucklefest already know, last year sometime I cut out sugared soda and juice from my diet and lost some weight (and a full pants size).  More recently I decided to be a little more proactive about dropping some weight and have started dropping weight pretty fast. It's all working out about as well as I could reasonably expect.

But now the cravings are starting to set in, and some of them are downright monstrous.  One craving in particular is kicking my ass right now.  While I'm not on a no-carb diet, I have cut way back on them, and eliminated stuff like white flour, high-fructose corn syrup and that sort of nonsense entirely. So right now, and for the last few days, I've been craving...

pancakes.  Oh my Lordy Lord, what I wouldn't give for a big ass stack of flapjacks, perfectly cooked, drowning in maple syrup. Then, maybe, after I was done with that, maybe...

another stack of pancakes.  Then, maybe after that...well, you get the idea.

Listen, I've never been a cake guy; there are sweet things I like but I don't really have a sweet tooth to speak of.  But you take a big pile of pancakes, glistening with wayyy too much syrup, a rivulet of butter floating lazily atop, and that's about as good as life gets.  Keep your fucking cake.

But there are probably not a lot of pancakes in my immediate future.  Every so often I'll grant myself a free day, where I can eat whatever I want, but this coming Sunday is Tootsie's and my anniversary, and we're likely going out to a restaurant where pancakes aren't on the menu.

But one day soon, friends, you're gonna find me face down in a giant plate of pancakes - eating my way to freedom!


  1. I tried the low carb thing once before and I agree, the cravings are unbelievable. I remember wanting bread, potatoes and pasta so bad I could barely stand it.

    I've been doing really well with just cutting down on sweet things and limiting portion sizes.

    I don't think I could do the no carbs thing again. I've never been so sick of meat in my life. When you're hungry and steak can't get your interest, there's something seriously wrong with you.

  2. Pancakes? Hit me up -- I'm down!

    You can eat the pancakes ... as long as they are part of a plan to balance your diet and get sufficient exercise. My brother-in-law's wife has a PhD in dietetics/nutrition. Let me know if you'd like to read her advice to me about healthy eating.

  3. I recommend going out for breakfast on Sunday as well. Have pancakes then. I hope the syrup is real Maple Syrup, not the shit like Mrs. Butterworth's that contains 2% real maple syrup, sometimes none at all.

    Stonewall Kitchen makes a great pancake mix. You could get that and make the cakes yourself. Then you control the syrup and can ensure it is real.

    Yes, perhaps I am fixated on real maple syrup. I grew up in a hosuehold where no fake-o shit darkened our door. Did you know that the grade refers only to the color of the syrup? Save yourself some dough and get grade B. Tastes as good as Grade A, but it's cheaper and darker.

  4. I tried the whole low carb thing and I can't get it to work for me.

    I'm a fat Dago and I need my pasta's man.
    1 cheat day per week isn't really enough for me to indulge in the shit I want to eat only to go back to the shit that makes me want the other shit.

    I'm not huge on sweets and treats but my big weakness is chips. I can go through a whole bag (and I'm talking about the party bags) without really thinking about it until i'm near the end about about to fucking puke because I've just had too much of whatever it is.

    Today I had Chicken and Biscuits - oh sweet lord was that tasty.

  5. @Duggle, I was actually able to ride that wave for a while, to the tune of three years or so - lost 75 pounds in like 11 months or so. Never got sick of meat but I did really start to crave variety. I remember one time I was at a party with a giant platter of tiny cream puffs that was diminished significantly by my presence there.

    But if I decided that sort of thing was in order, I could go back to an Atkins-type low carb/no carb diet.

  6. @Light, you're probably eating more healthy than any of us. Funny how much motivation a heart attack can bring you!

  7. @Cranky, there's this restaurant chain called Perkins - they're all over the country except for New England. Think an upscale Denny's. Anyway, they serve the best pancakes in all the land and whenever I find my feet in Ohio they're a must for breakfast at least once.

    And you sound like an authority on maple syrup. Have you tapped a tree yourself?

  8. @Grrouch - chicken and biscuits doesn't sound particularly woppy to me, but chacun à son gout, or so the minstrels tell us.

    Never been a crunchy/salty guy myself. Always preferred something chewy, like a turkey.

  9. http://www.ihoppancakeday.com/

    also, did you know today was national pancake day?
    Free pancakes at Ihop.

    I'm not a big perkins fan - but I loved Eat-n-Park better (basically same thing as a perkins/denny's/whatever).

  10. It may be too late now, but today was national pancake day and IHOP was giving them away for free.

  11. @JT and @Grr, yeah, I found out this afternoon actually. Good thing, too.

    In related "this doesn't bode well" news, they're building an IHOP less than three miles from my house.


  12. Well there's a Perkins about about half a mile from my house, so I got that goin' for me.

  13. Nothing like a stack of Perkins pancakes, or a bowl of Bob Evans beef tips and noodles with gravy...

    This is dirty talk to a fat man...