Thursday, July 8, 2010

Goal, revealed

Full Disclosure: I did not do well at the Very Josie last night. I would love to say it was because of someone else's reckless play, but that would be lying. The ugly truth was that I grew frustrated because I was card-dead (except for one hand, about which more later) and made a judgement based more on wishful thinking than empirical evidence, played a hand because of a stupid superstition as opposed to it being a premium hand, and it cost me the tournament before the first break.

The ugly details first: I played a hand with J10, for no better reason than J10 has been in the past, a lucky hand for me. Isn't that an AWESOME reason to risk money? Yeah, I think so too. I played this fucking winner of a hand against Waffles, who was pissing and moaning about having a toothache. Oy vey, as my people say, was he playing poorly. Earlier in the tourney he caught himself a miracle straight and exposed his stupidity to a slack-jawed table.

So the flop came AJx. I bet out about 1/2 the pot to see where I was and get called. But I decided not to let that be a lesson to me and tell me I was second-best. No, that wasn't my style last night apparently.I just figured that he was bluffing or chasing. Not because of evidence, remember: I just wanted it to be true. On the turn I made a big bet and committed myself, he turned over an A5 (another winner hand, but no matter, no matter) and the rest as they say is history. Bad Gary! Bad Gary!

However, I am pleased to say that I met the goal I set for myself. Alas I made it on Josie's fine ass. Did I say that out loud?

The ugly reality of the Very Josie is that I've never cashed, never knocked anyone out, never did anything but lose ugly. So I determined that whatever else betide, my goal for this tourney was that I was going to actually get some money back. Josie moving in with 66 to my QQ (the one exception to my card-deadiosity) knocked her (fine) ass out of the tourney, put a deuce in my pocket, and made my goal.

Never doubt the power of small dreams, my friends.


  1. FYI - I don't think playing the jack ten was such a bad thing. shoving all in with middle pair was the bad part, but i'm sure you know that. May I suggest 4-2 as your NEW lucky hand?

    LOL Glad you met your goal - and thanks for calling my ass there a new definition for in nice = voluminous? lol

  2. I always play bad. Never forget that.

  3. Another kiss ass, literaly it seems

  4. LOL NOT literally Wolfie....and i'm telling you, don't believe Gary. It's not all that nice.

  5. Wolfie, I have a big mouth, but Christ man, it ain't THAT big.

    I would like to state that I am officially sorry for that remark. I am a thoughtless piece of shit and I deserve nothing but scorn.

  6. Cripes, what a wuss. Now I know you like pink lace thongs and use the ladies room. A line worthyy of me and he starts apologizing before he even catches Josie hell. Gary, you are pitiful. Man up and grow a set :-P

  7. Wolfie, I sit next to the girl 7 Wednesdays out of 8. She is not beneath physical violence for any affront, real or imagined. Insinuating that she got herself a big ol' butt in front of all of you is a one-way ticket to bruiseville.

    Walk a mile in my Stacy Adams, there, sport, then come talk to me.

    And yes, btw, I sit when I pee: the doctor said I shouldn't lift anything heavy. Thank you! Good night!

  8. Smoking that crazy shyt again are we or are you just naturally delusional?

    BTW, I fully anticipate running into said bruiser one of these days and I have no plans to apologize, big butt or no.

  9. Wolfie, don't think you get a pass because of strokiness. Trust me, you'll walk away with bruises, but i'll be smiling when I do it.

    Hey me and my big butt met Waffles last week, and I smacked him good a couple times even though I was trying to be polite and all. As soon as the first smack landed I was like "ut oh...shouldn't have dont that..."

  10. Aww,Gary,too bad. Nice post, tho.
    And the bounty was sure sweet!
    I sorely missed being there, I do have so much fun!

    And Josie, she does shock me sometimes when I witness a good hard smack. LOL

  11. And what kind of frigging goal is that? To donk out of a game down $9 was your goal? You have to be effing kidding me.

    Dream big my friend. Maybe one day, dare I say it, BREAK EVEN!!!

  12. Nice pink hat picture on Josie's blog.


  13. @Lightning - LOL Can you tell he lost a bet!!! Some things are better than money!