Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Knockouts knock me out

Today I entered a 90 person, $24 buy-in tourney with a $4 knockout for everyone whom you felted.I know there are some of you out there who like the knockout element, how it allows one to recoup one's buy-in even if one doesn't go far in the tournament, but as of right now, as of this moment, I fucking hate knockouts.

First of all I think they penalize the quality hold em player. I'm of the opinion that the less you put your whole stack, or a great big by-god chunk of it, at risk, the better off you are. If you are in a knockout tournament, you could be convinced otherwise for what is, upon reflection, a ridiculously small amount of money. This is why I think that a knockout tournament favors the hyper-aggressive player, and turns knockout tourneys into all-in fests, an area wherein I am least comfortable.

I was cruising along nicely, having chipped up to a little above average stack at around 2.5x my starting point. I was picking my spots well, punishing group limpers, leading out only when I had the goods or had identified a weak player. But the spectre of old man Knockout reared its ugly head and made me make a decision I very likely would not have made.

I had 33 pre-flop with about 7000 in chips (it was a doublestack tournament, which I love, and might be the subject of another post). The player to my immediate right, who only had about 3000 chips moved in, and I sniffed a bit of weakness. I call and sure enough he turns over 46 off.

Now, of course this guy is a pork chop for moving in without even a whisper of a hand, but I think that without the potential to knock his ass out and grab $4 from him, I wouldn't have called with 33. Do I even need to tell you how this story ends? He catches a 6 on the flop and a 4 on the turn and cripples me.

My death knell was sounded about 10 hands later, when, as BB, I was moved in on by the SB. I had AK off, and snap called. I was elated to find myself yet another pork chop who moved in with 28d! What kind of ass-munch goes in with 2-8? When I'm stealing and bluffing I always have at least SOMETHING - a suited connector or two-gapper, a couple of big cards, a dry ace, something. But this chowderhead went in on me with deuce-son-of-a-bitching-eight.

Do I even need to tell you how THIS story ends? He flops his deuce and I take my bow, with my opponents chiding the winner and commiserating with me. My 28th-place finish did nothing for my bottom line, or my already incredibly bruised ego.

So I'm going to enter another similar tournament, having earned the buy-in with the easiest $20 heads-up match I ever played (I won easily whilst chatting on the phone with someone). Except this time, no god damned knockouts.


  1. I'm starting to think you don't like pork chops. Must be a Jew thing. ;)

  2. It's always amazes me some of the crap that people push with online. I haven't played a bounty tournament online(except Josie's which I like). I do like the concept though but not online. Too many donks out there.