The People Haven't Spoken - But Screw You Guys Anyway

 
Actually, when I say that the people haven't spoken, that's not precisely true.  Because...

That's never even come close to happening before.  And I always felt that you guys were a communicative bunch - felt fortunate that you guys choose to comment as often and thoughtfully as you do. So thanks for that, and keep it up - I really dig the sense of community here.

However, it would seem that there was, based on the deafening silence that greeted Josie's choices of what I should next write about, less than full-throated enthusiasm for her ideas.  JT, bless his ivory-ticklin' heart, actually stood in the firing line and said what I'm sure you're all thinking: that whatever else could be said about my options, they're better than the "short Sicilian's" (his words, not mine).

God, I'll miss him.

Anyway, I thought for a while about what to do, but before I came to any concrete decision I got this comment from Carmel:

I want to know what kind of crazy Jewish folks are. You tell me why you hate your brother, I'll tell you about the time I tried to kill one of my brothers.

Up to that point, having been released from my obligation to write about one of Josie's choices, I was going to write about something that wasn't on any list, but lookit: A lady put me to a challenge, and a lady spoke up with her preference.  And what man dares to call himself a gentleman who does not honor the simple requests of a lady, if it's within his powers to do so?

So I'm going to tell you a tale about my brother.  And it won't be the angry, bitter, vitriolic, hateful, invective-filled polemic that you might have enjoyed years ago; like every experience, time has added its perspective to things.  I'm just going to tell you who he is, what happened, and how I reacted to it. You can draw your own conclusions as to the measure of the man.  Do we have a deal?

Good.  Give me 24 hours to get it done right. I'm going to call him Anus, because he spews shit for a living.