Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Strictly on my pins

They took away the's just me and my feet.  I'm excited, man. 22 days ago I was completely paralyzed on the left side...I needed a nurse to help me roll over...I had a catheter in me...I couldn't get out of bed and couldn't conceive of anything being like it was.  I was helpless, angry, frustrated, and scared about my future. All I could think of was, I'm glad my dad is dead, because it would break his heart to see me like this.

Then I was able to wiggle my toes, and the world changed.

I knew that if I could do that, then pathways could be re-opened, with some luck and a lot of hard work. So that's what I did. Worked my ass off. Relearned to use my leg, lifting my leg when I was alone and in bed. Finding that with supreme effort I could bend my knee. Was able to wiggle my thumb sometimes, then all the time. Couldn;'t turn my hand over - then I could.  Fell in the crapper.  THAT was fun.

Transferred to rehab. Spent 3 1/2 hours a day in therapy.  I could walk around a rail, holding on with both hands. Couldn't lift my arm halfway up. Strengthened my shoulder.  Got my range of motion back. Worked on fine muscle control.  Flipped cards.  First time. flipped a straight!  Second time too! Thought it was a miracle until I realized it was a pinochle deck...

Started writing. Shuffling. Two-hand typing (mixed results). So many things.So many things you can do with a strong shoulder.  Couldn't put my shirt on.  Couldn't put my socks on.  Then I could, Fuckin miracle.

And it looks like the next phase is about to begin. Home care, which means I'm gonna be housebound. Then I won't.

Still can't drive. But then I'll be able to.  Watch me.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012


I have a new discharge date.  Instead of the 31st, I'm leaving Friday!  It can't come fast enough!

Why am I leaving early? Because I'm a rehab STUD. I'm walking ouside on uneven ground, taking real stairs, the whole bit. So I am OUTTIE, brothers and sisters.  I'm a friggin ghost come Friday.  Couldn't be happier.

Well, that's it from me.  Isn't that enough?

Monday, October 22, 2012


no cane, no walker, no wheelchair, nothing but me and my sneakers. walked up inclines, up stairs, down stairs, was master of all I surveyed.  Tres cool.

Also, maybe some super secret good news tomorrow - I'll let you know then.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Graduated to a cane

Today I worked with a cane and they're talking about making it my standard "thing," as opposed to a walker.  I'm typing with two hands, even though it slows me down, is painful, and makes me make errors.  But the process is what's important, not the immediate result.It's difficult but it's supposed to be.

My mom finally left. She was here since, like, the 4th.  I won't say "thank god" because she was a big help - but she knew when it was time to go. I'm not "in crisis" - nowhere near it - and her advice was starting to get unrelentingly negative.  I started calling her "Debbie Downer," she hated that but I think it made the point.

Well off to OT soon (arm) so I'll see you all later.

EXTRA-EXTRA -HUGE NEWS: It has happened.  I'm walking with a cane, but only supervised.  Let ring the trumpets! I'll be outta here in 12 days, tap-dancin'!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Better Every Day

Every day, it seems, I'm able to do something I couldn't do before.I work hard during my therapy sessions - when they say "take a break" I respond "I'll rest on my time - what's next?" At this point I can shower and get dressed by myself, pee standing up (really reminds you that you're a man), do all kinds of stuff I couldn't do just the day before...such are the long, slow, tiny markers of success.

Saw Cranky and Jo yesterday; they made my day.  I'll let them tell you about it - I grow weary of typing. We laughed like hyenas, it was quite cool. I ried to pretend I was really, you know, strokey, all mushmouthed and stuff, but couldn't pull it off. Kept smiling too much.

Anyhoo that's all from me. Take care, keep those positive vibes coming. Best to you all.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

I'm OK

all good days, progress every day, I'm tired but what the hell. Passed my swallow test today so I'll be eating real food! Keeping it short cuz, you know, one-handed typing.  Thanks for all your kind words and thoughts - even the religious ones! Josie, my angel, knows how to get a hold of me.  I'll be seeing her and Cranky tomorrow! First time I saw her I could barely speak- now I'm almost normal!  Anyway, thanks again all, keep on keepin on, and I'll talk to you all sooner than you think.