Disgusting Little Bastards

...and no, I'm not talking about Lightning and Josie. I'm talking about EARWIGS, who have overrun my house and that of most people I talk to this year. Don't know why, but the creepy crawly little scumbags are running roughshod over the northeastern quadrant of the United States this year.

fucking creepy little things, ain't they

They do no damage to speak of, except turn my stomach. They don't eat clothing, like the moths that ruined an otherwise perfectly good suit recently. They don't even burrow into human ears, which would take the creepy cake - turns out that's just a myth (right up there along with the notion that there's such a thing as "creepy cake.") They're just...creepy. You can't kill them without considerable effort and their death rattle is an exoskeletal crunch that is even more off-putting than their appearance.

Well I guess everyone has their cross (or star of David) to bear, right? I mean, look at the bright side: I could live in St. Helena...