Monday, June 18, 2007

Reaction from My Last Post

The consensus from the small yet passionate circle of friends, acquaintances, and various and sundry hangers-on is unanimous: Everybody loves a post wherein Your Hero inflicts pain upon himself, whether that pain be physical or mental. Apparently, they can't get enough of some good old-fashioned pie-in-the-face humor and debasement, as long as 1) they are NOT the subject of the humor, and 2) I am.

Well, who am I not to oblige? Forthwith then one of my most embarassing moments on this earth.

My first new car was a 1989 Ford Mustang, black with a red interior. I bought it for the princely sum of $9,400 in the summer of that year. And I loved that car, whether it deserved the love or not. Hey - I was all of 21 years old - what can I tell you? If you want to take a look at what it sorta looked like, click
here. Mine was a hard-top, and not automatic, but it's more or less the same car. The details aren't too important; suffice to say I loved the car and felt like a million bucks driving it.

One fine day as I was driving down the highway (128 South, heading towards 93, for you townies), I looked to my right and saw some dude driving the exact same car as mine. black exterior, red interior, the whole bit. My car down to the floorboards. So I did what any car-proud youngster would do: I sidled up to him and made eye contact. I made what I hoped was the universal gesture for, 'hey, check it out, we're driving the same car.'

The other guy looked at me as if I were holding up a fresh turd for his examination.

Undaunted by this apparent rejection, I pointed at his car, then pointed to mine, again in a gesture I thought was immediately recognizable as an acknowledgement that we were, in fact, brothers in automobilia.

Again, he gave me a look that would wilt lettuce and pounded on the gas, speeding away.

I was left only to reflect on the unfriendliness of my fellow man when it struck me why he had reacted the way he did: I was driving my girlfriend's car at the time, a decidedly girly Honda Prelude. Instead of "Hey, we have the same car," he could have only taken my gesture as meaning, "pull over - I'm a homosexual." I turned the color of the interior of my car, a humbler boy, but a little bit wiser.

And because this story has no real moral I'll borrow the one from my previous post: Don't mess with your own ass.

4 comments:

  1. LOL Great post! It kind of made me wish I was there to witness the humiliation.

    Talk about depreciation. I see your $9,400 new car is now valued at $780 on ebay.

    I double dare you to post the Johnson story - and in case you don't get where I'm going, I'm talking about the johnson story involving your mother. LOLLLLLLLL
    Who said you can't have fun in work?

    As Always,
    DB

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  2. Things that are even MORE embarrassing than driving a Prelude and hitting on a dude--

    1) Owning a Mustang II

    2) Being pulled over by the Beverly Police just for being a crappy driver. "Had anything to drink tonight, Gary?" "Not a drop, sir."

    3) Having the same driving instructor as your older sibling--the one who was in the car when said sibling felt compelled to do a smokin' 540 in a Plymouth Reliant on Route 1 in Saugus during his driving lesson the year prior.

    But now I want to hear the story about Gary's mother and a johnson. Do tell.

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  3. Well, "Ross," if that's your real name, I hardly think that this is the proper forum to air out all the family embarassments. However, since you've thrown down the gauntlet, I feel compelled to respond point by point:

    1. Owning a Mustang II: FU.
    2. The Beverly Police Incident: You don't think that maybe had something to do with the fact that there were 5 kids in a crappy car (with a BB gun, it hardly bears remembering)? FU.
    3. That driving instructor LOVED me. We used to pull over and smoke and dish about other people in the class. She thought you were a meatball. FU. And BTW, just to make things clear, 'twas YOU that spun 'er out trying to get on the highway. Again: FU.

    Well, once again, I've run rings 'round you logically. Hope this doesn't put you into spasms.

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  4. Ross,

    I'd love to tell the Johnson/Ma story, but I wouldn't do it justice. So we'll just have to wait for Gary's next post.

    DB

    ReplyDelete