Have I mentioned I'm crazy?
I'm not talking about crazy like exuberant, like someone who grabs life by whatever protrusions life has that you can easily grip and does something to it while thus grabbing. I'm talking about batshit crazy, b'dee b'dee b'dee That's All Folks cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs crazy pants crazy.
Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about. Late last week, Carmel wrote a post in which she explained that reading TBC with regularity was becoming more of a downer than she was comfortable with, and has stopped reading him. She also mentioned, in a previous post, that she once let Grrouchie shoot a batch of baby batter into her hair, but that doesn't factor into this post other than to say, that's freakin' awesome.
Anyway, in discussing the TBC matter she rattled off a number of posts she reads and why she reads them. Like the other posts she mentioned, she heaped great praise upon my little corner of the Inter-Tubes, but something she said stuck out: she said that some of the stuff I'd written recently "...really touched [her] heart."
And I know this is stupid, but for some reason, I'm struck by the weight of that statement. It's almost like I don't want to just 23-skiddoo my way through a post, belching out the literary equivalent of empty calories, if people are reading me and getting a good feeling from what I write. Like doing that would somehow let people down. I really have no way to defend this vainglorious stupidity other than to remind you, I'm fucking cuckoo-pants.
I've started three different posts this weekend, trying to strike a balance between humor and emotion and information and I'm paying so much attention to the tone I'm trying to strike that each post has been worse than the next, just absolute shit that would be turned down by vanity publishers.
I figure, the next thing I'm gonna write about is going to be something about which I feel strongly, and hopefully that will break this little spell. Then I just might tell the tale of the time a girl let me shoot one in her hair. Spoiler: That wasn't the most awesome part of the night.
Anyway, I wanted to say in front of everyone, thank you Carmel, you said some incredibly nice things about my blog and about me, and I won't forget it.