Return of the Jedi in fifteen seconds

Darth Vader: Obi-Wan has taught you well.
Luke: I won't fight you.
Emperor: Give in to the dark side.
Luke: OK, I'll fight you.
Emperor: Good! Good! Use your negative feelings. Channel your hate boy!
Luke: Changed my mind, not gonna fight you.
Darth: Obi-Wan has taught you well. But won't you please fight me?
Luke: OK, I'll fight you.
Emperor: Good! Good!
Darth (fighting): Obi-Wan has taught you well.
Luke: Oh yeah, I said I'd never fight you.
Emperor: Pity. Well, here's some electricity, make you think twice about not going to the dark side.
Luke: Father Please! Take this guy whom you've worshipped all your life and kill him, which will probably kill you.
Darth: Obi-Wan has taught you well.
Luke: Dad? A little help here?
Darth: OK. (kills EMPEROR)
Darth (dying): Luke, leave me here.
Luke: No, I won't leave without you.
Darth: Do as I say or you won't get the Chrysler this weekend.
Luke: OK, I'll leave you here.
Darth: Obi-Wan has taught... (DIES)

Cut to planet. Everyone dances poorly.

THE END