Monday, December 6, 2010

I love newbies

Whenever I need a quick shot of ego I enter a ten-buck heads-up game on FT. God help me, I just love an incompetent poker player. And being in a heads-up game exposes your shortcomings like a trip through airport security.

In these situations I like to do the doublestack because it gives me a little more time to figure out my opponent's game. There are the ones that just love to bluff - someone called it "Fancy Play Syndrome" - and there are ones who are tighter than a gnat's ass stretched across a rain-barrel. But most of them are just plain bad.

I love them.

Today was a perfect example. I did "battle" with a classic newbie, someone who thought that second pair was enough to stay in all the way. Once I figured that out the bloodletting began. I wouldn't play a flop unless I caught top pair - it extended the game but it made me more or less a sure thing. And I bled this poor new guy completely dry.

Funny thing, when he was down to, say, 800, he started going all-in preflop. Now the first time he did it I thought "ok, bugger caught AA," and folded down without a thought. But then he did it again. And again. And again. And after 7 all-ins or so I started to figure out his incredibly subtle strategy...

So I let him take me for my blind, over and over and over, until I finally got a decent hand. To me, for him, in this circumstance, that hand was K10d. Now of course, K10 suited is a flyer hand usually; it's a decent enough hand if you can get in cheaply and if you don't smell strength, but here I knew that K10 was going to be good. And sure enough it was.

I'll miss him, my little ego-stroking donkey newbie. There's nothing quite like playing cards with someone who thinks he knows what he's doing, but doesn't. It really is like taking candy from a baby - a baby who can't play poker worth shit.

Until next time, please remember that everyone is a newbie once, but some people stay donkeys for a loooooong time.

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