Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Some Advice, Please

Close your eyes. Go ahead, I'll take the wheel. Close...close...very good. OK: I want you to imagine a scenario. Picture yourself as someone who reads sports sites. Further imagine my site, Red Sox 101, as the site you read most.

Already you're feeling like this guy, aren't you

Listen, I'll cut to the chase, as this is getting creepier than I was expecting it to be. Here it is in a nutshell: I have to produce content more or less every day, but each month the team has three or four days off and I have to write stuff then, too. So I'm thinking about starting a sort of feature-ette that I can write about every day off or every time the news cycle gets a little slow - maybe Great Red Sox Through History, descriptions of famous (or infamous) games with historical content, or my current favorite, "Baseball's Most Successful Jews." I like that one because it's going to be short.

But I think what I'm going to go with is a post articulating and explaining two or three of baseball's unwritten rules, and maybe how they're interrelated. For example, there are a bunch of unwritten rules around not "showing up" a pitcher: don't swing at a 3-0 batting practice fastball down the middle. Don't steal a base if you're up or down by more than five runs. Don't "dig in" too firmly with your cleats as you stand in the batters box. If you hit a home run keep your eyes down and trot quickly around the bases.

Likewise the pitcher is bound by unwritten rules based around doing what he has to do as well. If you're going to drill somebody, take a few miles off your fastball and drill him in the ass. Pitches high and tight should miss. If you hit someone by accident, for God's sake don't EVER apologize.

That sort of thing sound remotely interesting? It's a serious question. Sometimes my geek filter turns silent when I need it most. So I'm relying on youse guys! Let me know if you think it's a good idea. Also, if you have any suggestions for something to write about on rainy days and off-days - they always get me down, you know - I'm all ears.

On a personal note, I am in 31 flavors of gastric distress as I sit here on the couch. It was probably the fact that I saw Josie today, about which more later, but it could also have been the gigantic pile of fried fish and onion rings I had at the roast beef joint where she, Ursa Sucrosum and I had dinner. Oh, now that I think of it, I made fun of a guy in the men's room who was passing a watermelon and was making the whole standard array of noises. Funny for regaling a 12-year-old kid but in doing so I clearly angered the gods of poo. Why do I inflict this damage upon myself?

Anyway, let me know what you think of my little idea, and until next time, please remember the unwritten rule regarding clubhouse etiquette: if you're a rookie, don't take the last blueberry muffin. What are we, animals?


  1. I think it's a grand idea. I'm referring to the posts about the unspoken rules of baseball. I may even read them!

  2. Why not do all of them? I hope the Sox have had a high caliber jewish middle infielder in their past. I think "The Circumcised Shortstop" has a nice ring to it and would be a good start to your series :)

    What are your plans for the site in the off-season?

  3. @Jos, thanks. Despite your complaining a little Kelly's Roast Beef makes everything all better, dunnit?

    @Duck, mostly, Jewish involvement in baseball is limited to ownership of the media company who broadcasts the game. Except for Hank Greenberg and Sandy Koufax. And Kevin Youkilis. Oh! And you want to check something out that's cool, read up on Moe Berg. There's a book out there called "The Catcher was a Spy" or something like that. Fascinating read.

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  5. Don't forget Steve Stone.

    Agree with Lucki Duck -- do them all.

    I watched Dan Patrick's show this morning. He asked Jason Varitek what he would say to Jeter if Jeter got hit #3000 as a homer against the Red Sox. Varitek's reply: "First, I'd trip him ..."

  6. G-Man,

    I know about Mr. Berg, a true patriot! Over the past few years I've painted portraits of my favorite ballplayers (including Koufax) and I am considering painting Moe Berg next. Leaning towards Ty Cobb though.

  7. Check out the movie Airplane again - "How about this leaflet "Famous Jewish Sports Legends?"

    I think there's a lot of things you can set up to do on off days. Stuff from famous games, where are they now, remember when, favorite players. There's a lot of team history you can go through for ideas.

  8. @Neo, Oh my god, I forgot all about that. Quick story: My dad used to work for TWA, the little airline that could. He was transferred to St. Louis but hated it, so he never moved the family. I visited there over the summer a couple of times and one time we went to the movies just to get out of the heat. That movie was Airplane and I never saw my dad laugh so long and so often in his life. Thanks for the reminder, and thanks for the advice, I like the where are they now angle.

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